Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
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