today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
