Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize