She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
