god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
