doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize