You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
