They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
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She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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