What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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