pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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