the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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