woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
