Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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