all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
