I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
