I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
