I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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