I want to walk on stilts...naked
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
