If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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