before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
