Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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