so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
