Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
