i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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