Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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