Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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