my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
