My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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