I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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