How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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