so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
