i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
