Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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