I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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