i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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