we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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