i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize