Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
