You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
