Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
