So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
