I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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