i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
