I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Even my vagina gasped.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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