If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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