You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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