she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
