he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
