Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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