If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
