i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
and she was petting her beer can
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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