I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
