you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
