Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
