We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
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Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
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Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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