UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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