; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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