i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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