dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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