I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
