Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
