the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
