I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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