I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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