bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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