Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
