I must be too annoying 4 u.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Shame - the story of my life.
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