I'm gonna have a badass scar
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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