Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
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composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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