New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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