yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
