We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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